If Levi was a woman
by Ahai
Summary: A reader fic where reader is able to see ghosts and Levi s mother, Kuchel, shows up...


Finally you could rest. No titans, no superiors or other soldiers yelling, no ghosts bothering you, you were finally able to rest surrounded by peace and tranquility. You were no ordinary soldier, you had an ability not many others had. Some called it a gift, but you referred it as a curse. You had the ability to see and talk to dead people, aka ghosts. The military took an interest in you as they heard rumours about the girl who could communicate with ghosts. At first you didnt understand why they wanted you, you thought they only wanted people who could fight and kill many titans. Appearantly it werent many soldiers who could take down many titans, most of them ended up being killed. Thats where you came in. They wanted you to talk to the newly dead soldiers to see if they noticed anything new about the titans, anything, anything at all.

You werent so happy for your occupation. The ones who died werent some spirits that came to you later all calm when you were alone in the dark, they were spirits who showed up right after being killed. You watched as the soldiers were slaughtered and then their ghosts appearing just as frightened and horrified seconds before dying. If they died when a titan bit them in half or had their head bitten off or dissected, the spirit would come out of them. If they died by a titan eating them, the spirit would come out of the titan. It was all so horrible. Watching them die and then see them leave their bodies they can never return to. Your attempt to get information was rarely successful. Not only because of you being shocked, but the spirits werent in any condition to communicate. After all, who could do anything sensible aften being killed? The spirits eithers disappeared right away, screamed at you about how scared they are/were, or just babbled rubbish and then disappeared a few minutes later. Ghosts had the ability to come and go. The ghosts could come back to you, but many rarely wanted to talk to you about anything that reminded them of titans. The few ones that did return said they didnt notice anything that could help humanity. Levi wanted to give up on you a long time ago and you agreed on that, but Hanji insisted on having you and keep trying till you got something out of the ghosts. Hell, that woman was patient...7

"

Now you were in your room relaxing with no one to bother you, not even ghosts. Before you went to sleep, you did something that amused you. Moblit, the poor man who often were stressed because of that patient woman, taught you some drawing skills. You two spend some time together when you werent in need at some moments. You taught quite a lot from him and you used to draw the people you knew in some funny ways. Eren`s head on a birds body, Jean with a horse face, Mikasa with a heavy, manly body, etc. You sat on your bed, pencil in your hand and paper in front of you, thinking of something funny to draw.

 _"Hmmm...What if Levi was a woman?"_ You thought.

You liked the idea and started drawing. You drew a picture of Levi with longer hair, slender body and perky breasts. You studied your drawing after finishing it. The picture wasnt amusing to look at, Levi would be really beautiful if he became a woman.

"Excellent job! But how...We have never met"

You turned your head to your right and backed off in a startled reaction. Out of the blue a woman suddenly appeared next to you. Not only that, the woman looked just like your "woman Levi" drawing! You managed to collect yourself quickly after figuring out it was "just a ghost".

"I am sorry, you just startled me a bit" You said to her.

"You can see me? And hear me? I know I talked to you but I didnt know you...Tch, being dead makes you crazy" She said.

"Yes, I am a medium, I can communicate with the dead. But I wonder: Why are you here? I have never seen you around here..." You said.

The woman frowned as she started thinking. You were slightly freaked out. Not only did she look like a woman version of Levi, but she acted like him too!

"I dont have a definite answer to that, you do a lot of random actions as a spirit. I do not doubt you for never have seen me. I have been dead for a bit over two decades now and I died living in Underground city" She answered you.

You werent paying so much attention at what she said, you were studying her looks carefully. She was a beautiful woman, but you just couldnt believe how much she looked like Levi.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" The woman asked in a slight nervous tone.

Her question made you snap out of your "trance".

"I am sorry! You just look a lot like someone I know, thats all" You said.

"Who do I look like?"

"Corporal Levi Ackerman"

Her eyes widened and her features softened up. She looked as she was about to cry, but at the same time she was glowing out of happiness.

"My little Levi is alive..." She mumbled to herself.

"Do you know him?"

"Yes, I am Kuchel Ackerman. I am, or rather was, his mother"

This time your eyes widened up. The woman in front of you was Levi`s Mother?! It did make sence because of how alike they were, but now she was here in front of you just because of a random haunting... Holy Maria.

You and Kuchel sat on your bed and talked. She was telling you all about her past. She told you she was a prostitute living poorly, she got pregnant by one of her clients and decided to keep Levi, how life got harder and harder and she ended up getting sick and die.

"If your life was so hard, why did you decide too keep your baby? It must have made it a lot harder to live"

You felt guilty for asking that question. Kuchel did humanity a great favor for making the humanitys greatest soldier, but why would she keep a child from a man who didnt love her and only used her as a toy?

Kuchel smiled, oddly enough as you expected her to rage on you.

"The life I was living was hell. I hated my job, I couldnt do anything else for a living than let men abuse and toy with me. When I found out I was pregnant, I was happy. Something from the darkness managed to drop off a light in me. I felt him grow inside of me, it made me feel alive again. I loved him more and more as he grew and the day I got him was the happiest day of my life. It was hard to live the life I lived and care for a child, but I never regretted it, Levi made my life meaningful again"

Kuchels explaination touched your heart. Despite living so horriably, she made what most woman in that postion would think of as awful, to the most wonderful thing.

You felt a big upcoming yawn and you did your best to choke it.

"I am sorry, Kuchel. I want to hear more, I really do, but I need to sleep..."

Kuchel sighned and nodded.

You felt a bit bad, you felt as if you were rejecting her for selfish purposes. But it would be very rude to fall asleep as she was telling you her hurtful personal stories, wouldnt it?

As you were about to lay down, Kuchel grabbed your hand.

"Can you do this one thing for me?" She asked.

"Of course. What is it?"

" I want to see him, I want to see my Levi!" She said desperately and enthusiastic.

You hesitated a bit. Levi would stay up for a while during the night, but his grumpiness was at its worst during that time. You couldnt just walk in to his room without a reason and you couldnt say "I am letting in your ghost mother, she wants to see you. Too bad you cant see her". But you were willing to let Kuchel see her son, so you just had to improvise.

"

You went down to the kitchen with Kuchel following you. You began to boil some water and prepared some teabags.

"Are you making tea? Wont you take me to Levi?" Kuchel asked in a distraught tone.

"I will, I promise to take you to Levi. I just have to "soften him up" and "prepare him"

You dug in your pocket and picket up a little bottle.

"Sleeping medicine? Are you going to drug down my little boy?!" Kuchel said astonished.

The reason you had sleeping medicine was because you sometimes had trouble sleeping because of your job and some of the spare time. You always had disturbing images in your head of the ghosts looking awfully sad, and some, scary. It was no good combination with their bodies gone or awfully slaughtered. You got prescribed sleeping medicine, a sweet liquid you drank one sip of and then calmly fell asleep.

Levi only slept for 2 or 3 hours, or so you heard, and he needed to sleep longer than just that. People, normal ones, couldnt see or speak to ghosts, but ghosts could enter peoples dreams. You figured Kuchel wanted more than just see him, she probably had a lot to catch up with him.

After you finished making the tea you dripped some drops of your sleeping medicine in the cup. Kuchel looked at you with a "Levi glare".

"I am just helping. He needs to sleep for a long time and you need as much time as possible to be with him. What if you wont be able to randomly end up here again?" You said.

Ghosts ability to come and go could just randomly show up somewhere unplanned and werent always able to show up at a place they wanted to be, especially not places far away from their death place.

"Curse you if you hurt him" Kuchel said monotony.

If only she would calm down... It wasnt poison, it was just some extra help to make him sleep longer and peacefully. Using sleeping medicine prescribed for you wouldnt do harm on others, would it? Oh, who were you kidding?! You were about to drug down the Corporal! But it wouldnt hurt him, would it? He is the humanitys strongest, so it would be okay, right?

"I am sure he can handle it, Kuchel" You said with a bit of hesitation in your voice.

You picked up the tea cup and walked towards Levi`s office with his mothers ghost following you , still looking at you with the Levi glare.

"

You stood in front of the door. You lifted your hand up slowly, knuckles first. You softly knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" Levi said from inside the room.

"Its (First) (Last), sir" You answered.

"Enter" Levi said, simple and monotone.

You opened the door gently and entered. Levi sat by his desk with a lot of paper on it. Levi was a clean freak, you knew that, so why was his desk so messy? Completing a lot of work all at once?

"What do you want, (first)?" Levi asked with an annoyed tone in his voice.

You were quiet for a moment. Both Kuchel and the sight of Levi distracted you. Levi had heavy, dark bags under his eyes, his face was paler and he looked angrier than usual. Kuchel however was standing in a corner in the room squealing like a girl seeing a very cute squirrel for the first time, while whispering loud sentences such as "He has grown so much!" and "My sweet baby boy!"

"(First)! I said: What do you want?" Levi repeated in a sterner tone.

You snapped back to reality.

"I am sorry, sir! I...I... I thought that you might have been working a bit too much, so I brought you a cup of tea" You answered nervously and put the cup down on his desk.

"Oh...Well, thanks (first)" Levi was a bit surprised "Anything else you want?"

"No, that was all. Good night, sir"

You and Kuchel went out quickly, too quick for the surprised Levi to say anything back. After you closed the door, you noticed Kuchel looking at you with happiness in her eyes.

"I cant believe I got to see him again! Thank you so much, (first)!" Kuchel exclaimed.

"Youre welcome. Just wait a bit and he will..."

You didnt finish your sentence, you stopped when you suddenly heard a small thud.

"Sir? Corporal Levi?"

No answer. You opened the door as queitly as you could. Levi had his head, face first, asleep on his desk. You heard him breathing slowly in and out, he was already deep asleep. You expected him to feel so tired that he would go to bed and fall asleep, not fall asleep seconds after leaving. He must have been so tired from before and the sleeping medicine must have made him give up figthing against his tiredness.

"Carry him to the bed" Kuchel said.

You looked at her with a "wtf face"

"Carry him!? You expect me to do that?" You said.

"I am a ghost, I cant even touch him. You have to do it. I dont want my son to sleep long like that!" Kuchel said.

You sighted. You didnt want Levi to sleep like that either, sweet dreams required comfortable sleep and ghost couldnt touch anything in the mortal world. You could try at least, he had a bed in his office and people werent easy to wake up after they have just taken sleeping medicine.

You placed your arms under his arms and pulled him out of the chair. It wasnt any "carry him", it was "drag him with all your might". For a small man he was really heavy! Halfway from the bed you were sweating like a pig and Levi was still deep asleep with his head dangling as you walked in a "drag", "rest" way backwards. You reached the bed and practically flinged him on it. Levi was only halfway on the bed, his upper body was lying in the middle of the bed and his legs were on the edge of the bed and his feet on the floor. After a minute of catching your breath you were about to place him correctly. You pulled up the blanket from underneath him, lifted up his legs and placed them up on the bed. All of Levi`s body was now on the bed, finally! You laid the blanket on his legs and started to undress his upper clothing.

"What are you doing?!" Kuchel exclaimed.

"He cant sleep with those clothes on, it would be uncomfortable and my mother once said you should only sleep in night clothing" You said.

You couldnt see any drawers or closets in the office, so he would have to sleep with pants and no shirt. Kuchel was shocked just to see you take off his shirt, so you would have to let him sleep with the pants on. Many guys slept like that, or in underwear or...nothing.

You couldnt help but gasp and wide your eyes when his shirt was off. He had a sexy body! Those arms, those abs, oh my...

"Just get out of the room already, pervy brat!"

Your eyes turned to look at Kuchel. She looked at you furiously, as if she was going to take you with her back to Underground city if you didnt stop staring at her sons body. Brat, huh? She really was his mother. Despite still wanting to look at Levi, you covered him up completely with the blanket almost like how people covered up corpses. You stopped ogling because you had to show respect and you were more scared of her than Levi when she was raging. You forcefully turned your eyes of him and looked at the door. You looked at Kuchel before closing the door. No word came out of you and Kuchel. Her raging look slowly turned to a gentle and happy face. Increndible how she could change her features of a grumpy, short Corporal to a sweet, godlike angel. No words were needed, her face showed gratitude and farewell well enough.

"Goodbye, Kuchel" You said and closed the door.

You took a sip of your sleeping medicine so you would be tired enough to go to sleep when you arrived your room.

"

You woke up in the middle of the night. It was not because of any thoughts bothering you, nor ghosts, it was simply because you had to pee. Kuchel was a gentle woman, you knew that, but she was scary at the same time...

After using the toilet you came to think of something. How was Levi doing? Was he still asleep and did Kuchel enter his dream? You had to check it out!

The door was still closet, just like how you left it. You opened the door quietly and sqeed at the first thing you saw. Levi was still asleep, also like how you left him. You entered the room and tip toe towards him till you stood right next to him. You bend down on one knee so you were head level with him. It wasnt easy to see all of him though, he hugged the pillow he had under his head before to his body like a toddler cuddling its teddy bear. You leaned in closer to his face and was on the verge on crying when you saw his face clearly. Levi had tears streaming down his eyes, but a little smile on his mouth.

"Mama...Mama..." Levi mumbled in his sleep.

A little tear ran down your cheek. He sounded like a child who lost his mother in a big crowd and finally found her again after hours of searching.

You decided to leave the room before you ended up falling apart on the floor crying your eyes out. Seeing this scary and stern Corporal so fragile and emotional was so heartbreaking! But at the same time it was so nice to see him reunite with his mother, the first person he saw dying.

"Sweet dreams, Levi" You said as you closed his door once again.

"Where is Levi?" Hanji asked.

"

It was 9 am, you and some others were gathered for breakfast. Levi was still not here, and the others started to get worried. But you felt happy on his behalf. You didnt want to mention anything about the incident with Kuchel or the thing with Levi yesterday, but you couldnt come up with any excuse of why you looked so happy about Levi being late. You just didnt answer their questions, you would just let them thing the reason for themselves no matter of wrong their thoughts were.

"Levi? Is that really you?" Erwin suddely said.

Levi finally did show up. He came in through the door with a rested, calm face and a smile on his mouth. Your smile widened at the sight of him. He looked like someone stuggling for a long time finally found the solution.

"Did you have a good nights rest, sir?" You asked.

Levi let out a chuckle.

"Thats one way of calling it, brat. That tea of yours apperantly made wonders" Levi said.

 _Yeah, I guess it did. But that was the only one I could offer._

You didnt know if Kuchel would ever come back, but her visit was more than enough to give both Levi and you peace. Despite some scary moments from Kuchel, she made you feel at ease at confronting ghosts. Or you had the feeling, next time you saw a ghost you would be strong at get as much out of the as possible. Thanks to her Levi got happier and you braver. Rest in peace, Kuchel.


End file.
